TNT:
Mot: My wife started reading the Exorcist on the…………… ((( and then the Fight Started )))……..
My wife started reading the Exorcist on the train to work.
She said ” she thought it was the most evil book she had ever read”.
She said “it was so evil she couldn’t finish it”.
So, at the weekend she went to the end of the pier and threw it into the sea.
So I went to the local book store and I bought another copy .
Then I put it in water for two hours. and left on her dressing table for her to find it..
Mot: “My wife forgot to leave for me the carseat to take our son to the babysitter’s house.
This is the picture I sent when she asked how I was going to get him there.
I then turned off my phone for the next 4 hours.”
Mot: This is (allegedly) the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.